Daric's Diary: Happy Birthday
- Jan 9, 2018
- 3 min read
“I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22” – Well not actually, 22 feels no different than 21. Today, January 9th, marked the date of my 22nd birthday, 22 years of fumbling around just trying to figure out how life works. So much has happened and so much is yet to actually come. I’ve never really celebrated my birthday, coming from a financial background that doesn’t allow you to make a big deal about birthdays makes them not important to you – at least your own. I actually go all out for others’ birthdays because I’m happy they were born so they could be in my life but I’m okay if my day goes completely unnoticed. This way I don’t get my hopes up just for them to be let down.
There was once a time where I kept a journal of all these big extravagant birthday plans, I would draw and map out everything. It helped to escape and enter a world that made the real world not hurt as much. Through the years I realized I don’t need others to fuel my happiness or learn to actually celebrate my life. Growing up into a young adult I’ve been able take opportunities and be better off financially. With this I learned to start doing things for myself, if no one is going to celebrate you or your achievements then do it yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back! After realizing this, my birthday has become a day of reflection, relaxation, and filled with all my favorite things. I get myself a bunch of affordable “gifts” – honestly these are things actually need but have saved up and worked hard for to get and getting these things around my birthday makes the day special. In a way, I trick myself into being happy. I continue by ordering my favorite foods and wine (Stella Rosa) to indulge in while I binge watch a TV show on Netflix (sometimes a movie marathon). For me the turn up scene is not something I particularly like, I’m a home body that loves a cozy night in or a glorious game night with friends.
One thing I’ve actually learned to love about my birthday is that it is only 8 days after the new year starts. Which is cool because it only validates a new beginning even more. It’s comforting and needed after I make it through each year with scars and bruises (literally and metaphorically), not sure of what the future holds. But recently a close friend of mind gave me some advice about fear, and how it can hold you back in aspects of life.
“Fear will be what keeps you from seeing the love you truly deserve from the people around you, it’ll be what hinders you professionally, and most of all it’ll be what keeps you from truly
loving yourself. “- Maia
This has stuck with me and I plan on breaking free of fear, fear of getting let down, fear of people not caring so I close myself off, fear that each birthday will signify another year of failure. Fear has ruled my life for so long and it won’t live here anymore. Here’s to 22 years that have shaped me into the individual that I love so much.
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