Daric’s Diary: Feeling the Funk
- Jan 6, 2018
- 2 min read
Today ... today was a bit of a rocky one for me, I woke up in a funk. Just not feeling like myself and bit depressed. I guess it started with the dream I had last night. The dream is one I have had for years, it’s like an internal sense that triggers a warning of something bad about to happen. In the dream, I am stuck in a loop of being shot in the back of the head by a dark shadowy figure in a dark alley. The times I’ve had this dream, it usually means some close to me has died or someone close to me has stabbed — well shot me in the back.
All my life I’ve been let down, and I just never had the support system I really needed. People just never stick around after they get what they need from me. Because of this I question people’s loyalty and how genuine they are. Moods like this lead me to spiral down and to overthink things in my life. I start to question my success in life and if what I’m doing is enough to live a better life than what I come from. Basically, I start asking the big life questions that no one has the answers to, yet alone a soon to be 22-year old. I chalk it up to just it being one of those days. Overall, if I’m honest, I think I’m scared of failure and all the work I put in being for nothing. This dream may have something to do with my birthday coming in a few days, and I barely know what I’m doing the next day yet alone for the rest of my life. But I guess this is what life is, the unsureness of it is what makes it worth living and a beautiful experience.
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