Daric’s Diary: Finding Yourself
- Sep 21, 2017
- 3 min read
Dear Diary,
The past few weeks have been ridiculous, however I appreciate every moment. I’ve cried, laughed, lost people, and gained people all in this period of just a few weeks. I recently got out of a toxic relationship, now it’s not just one person’s fault, we were just not meant to be and it took us awhile to accept that. It’s been about a month since then, I decided to take this time to focus on me and grow mentally, physically, and spiritually. I felt I needed to work on myself and figure out fully what defines me so I would never look to define myself or my future within someone else. That’s what I personally believe hurts the most after a breakup, you found yourself in someone and now not only did you lose them you lost yourself too. It’s the pain and fear of an uncertain future and not knowing what to do to move on with your life. But you have to take a step back so you figure things out and that’s what I did.
To tend to my mental I began to reread a new personal favorite book of mine, I Don’t Belong To You by Keke Palmer. This book is a guide that tells experiences Keke Palmer went through and how she found her true self so that she could be well rounded and happy in all aspects of her life. By realizing our identities are not singular but a multitude of various smaller parts that create who we are. And realizing what Keke Palmer says, “[that we are] always growing, never grown..” — For me this means I didn’t lose me, I could never lose myself; I am just growing each and every day. Instead of looking at the future being uncertain and scary, I began to look at it as a journey of everlasting growth and possibilities.
I took this time to start back nurturing my physical as well. I started with a week fast to detox all unhealthy toxins from my body. I abstained from all beverages other than water, and took out all processed sugar during this fast. After I continued to only drink water and began — by habit— to eat more healthy. This period allowed me to get back to what I love, long distance running. By combining healthier eating habits, campus runs, and LIGHT weight training (I really dislike weights 🙄) I was able to reenergize my physical.
The most important part was tending to my spirit. This was also not the easiest, because I had to take time to reflect on my past and that can be painful. I began to meditate, meditation to me is not just the traditional way, I would just sit in silence and reflect on situations. When reflecting on these situations I thought about what happened, how they could have happened, the result of the situation, and how it made me better. This was for all good and bad situations in my life. I realized everything happens for a reason, and each moment in life allows you to reflect and grow. After reflecting I also realized there were negative spirits and energy in my life that I had to remove myself from. I am a strong believer that you can’t control someone else but you can control yourself. You shape and define your reality. I also prayed for strength and guidance daily.
Today, I am happier and healthier than I was. I know now I am this wonderful, powerful, multifaceted being that has so much to offer the world. I’ve truly began to find myself.
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